Bad Kitty/Good Kitty

Tuesday

2006-11-06T08:15:00.000-05:00

Go Vote.
Vote for Somebody, anybody; just Don't, for Goodness' sakes, not Vote.

Go Vote!

Ah, insomnia

2006-09-24T23:16:00.000-05:00

I really should be sleeping. I don't even have anything interesting to say. There isn't anything new to read. I am starting to get hungry, which means that it will be even more difficult to go to sleep the longer I stay awake. . .

cold.

2006-09-13T08:16:00.000-05:00

Somebody gave me a cold. Damn it. It's my day off, and I feel awful. And it's raining. bleah.
I was hoping I would feel creative today, so I can get some sewing done. I definitely won't be going to the gym.
I have to get busy on the bachelorette's outfit; her party will be here before I know it, and I also have to make my costume for her reception at the end of October. I have to go buy some netting for her pink veil, which means a trip to the fabric store. I also have to get her shower gift, because that is this weekend. ack.
Can I just have some Dayquil, first?

hmm.

2006-09-08T07:13:00.000-05:00

We got a sofa. And Sam has moved off into the wilds of N. Georgia. I don't know if she is crawling off to die there, or if I will see her again.

I've been invited to my first bachelorette party; it's next month and I get to make the tiara and t-shirt for the bride-to-be. Fun. Pink sparkly Everything!

We started at the gym. I went 2 days ago; I'll go back this weekend, when the soreness eases a little bit. I've decided when I lose 15 lbs, I'm going to go have my nose pierced, because I've wanted to do it for so long.

I have to get ready for work.

I can't get no Satisfaction.

2006-08-30T09:45:00.000-05:00

And it sucks.
I have started to daydream about cock. I dream at night about sex. This does not happen when I am getting some. When I am getting fucked on a deliciously regular basis, I only revisit fond memories, I am not forced to make up whole scenarios in my head as I go about my day. It's distracting me from my work. I am decidedly less pleasant to be around, on edge as I am.
I think of old lovers . . . until I remember how truly lonely I was. The sex was great, but there was no 'relationship'. Now, I have a fantastic, functional relationship, and no sex. Sure there are things we need to work on, but they're acknowledged, and will be dealt with.
I have stopped with any wedding planning. If he keeps making excuses and bringing up little objections, he must not be ready. Which means I am not ready either, by default.
Which means one of us has to figure out exactly What is 'wrong' enough with us that we thought we could be together for the rest of our lives, but we can't take that step.
My biggest current problem is the lack of sex. I am filled with self-loathing for my own physical form, and a decided lack of interest in his. We both need to lose weight. When we got together, we were both composed of a lot more muscle than fat.
He has no hedonistic qualities, no animal nature, not over-powering desires. I cannot tempt him into fucking me, apparently. He makes negative comments about other bloggers with sexual kinks that are similar to mine, to the point of making me silent about my own desires.
I don't think he knows how to be sexy. I don't think he understands how to move, how to talk, what to do.
When we watch movies with sex scenes, he is incredulous and disbelieving. He cannot fathom that people would be so impatient for sex with each other that they would end up on a stairwell, or against a wall. So I don't say anything, because how to explain something that comes so naturally to most people??
I know he visits porn sites; we share a computer, after all. So he must masturbate. But not for me. Not with me, or around me.
The vague flickers of interest come at inopportune times; when I am getting ready for work, or am honestly ready for sleep. They are fleeting, and indirect. He does not attempt to arouse, even. Just a tentative probe, and then a retreat.
There is no romance. I am starting to feel like his room mate. I am happy to be his best friend. I am very glad that we can live together in harmony, support each other, make each other laugh. Perhaps we are too polite to each other. Maybe I need to have a true southern hissy fit. I try to be more dignified than that, but maybe that is what is killing our relationship; good manners. All I really want is to get fucked.

Congratulations, Violet!

2006-08-30T09:41:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to say that Violet Blue rocks, and I hope that she prospers mightily.

back from Amelia

2006-08-23T20:55:00.000-05:00

I went down for 3 days and it was sooo nice! I didn't get to park my ass on the beach, but I got a lot done, and had fun with my dad and his wife.
Greyhound isn't as bad as I thought it would be.

I am still working on winning the lottery so I can afford my wedding.

coming right along

2006-08-14T20:39:00.000-05:00

We've been busy the past week or so; or at least it feels that way.
I have got my hands on The silk for the Dress; a lovely, lush blue/green crosswoven taffeta that matches the ribbon I want to use for the invitations almost perfectly. Which is odd when you consider that I bought the ribbon in 2002.
Either way, the fabric samples have been pouring in from several different companies, and I have found some really lovely stuff. It's exciting, because I can see it in my head.

I found out that my dad has diabetes; this is a new development, and a scary one. I am going down there this coming weekend, and can't decide if I should pay $100 and take the bus, or $300 and fly.
Either way, I feel the need to recharge my own batteries, and to check on my daddy. I will also be checking out places to have the wedding.

New Tires

2006-08-02T21:09:00.000-05:00

Spent 5 hours at Dekalb Tire Co. today. They found a busted brake something or other, and I ended up spending twice as much as I had planned to spend. bleah.
I finished Deception Point, watched CNN, and spent some time on their internet visiting websites for possible wedding venues. Then I walked to Target, shopped, walked back, and waited some more. feh.
Puppy bought dinner, though, so there's always a bright side. As long as the check doesn't bounce because of bad timing, it's all good. I put my paycheck in the bank on the way there; as long as they don't hold it for too long, it should be alright.

I am waiting on my second set of silk samples to come in the mail. Although, it's silly to pick out the Dress fabrics when I can't pay for them, yet. I seriously need to win the lottery.
I work both jobs tomorrow, and it's going to kick my ass, as usual. It's too damn hot to be in the car in a suit. I don't think she's going to put me on the next schedule, which means less income, but less stress. I just hope that the ladies I have come to think of as my friends think of me the same way, and still want to hang out sometimes. Probably not, but I hope so.

Puppy is already in bed, asleep. I guess I should join him.

cnn

2006-07-27T09:25:00.000-05:00

I read CNN every morning. I like to know as much before-hand as possible if the world is going to blow up around me. And, every now and then, there's good news, which is also nice.
But it's awkward to wake up to a story about somebody who once sodomized me, talking about how he thinks he should be governor of the state that he's from, that they 'need some help'.
It's unpleasant to be reminded, first of all, and I really don't enjoy looking at his smug face. But, really, if this is truly representative of who we vote into office, I'm moving to the UK, and I'm not kidding.

winding down

2006-07-26T20:10:00.000-05:00

It's the end of the evening, in a string of long days; but tomorrow I can sleep late. I only work in the evening, and then we are going out to say farewell to a co-worker. She's an intern, and returns to school for one more semester before coming back to Atlanta in December. So we're all going to the Leopard Lounge tomorrow night and I'm very excited about it.
Unless the DJ sucks, there should be some dancing involved, Yay.
I have to decide if I want to work on my skirt and try to finish it, or if I want to go to the fabric stores to try to pick out Dress material. We'll see. I think it will depend on how damn hot it is. I don't want to be traipsing about in 100 degree weather, not even for silk.
I started making moves to consolidate my stupid student loans today, so that's good. I also need to contact the credit bureaus to clean up my credit reports as much as possible.
I applied for a Knot American Express card and was denied; I will not take that lying down. I want that card, because the discounts would help me with the place I want to have the wedding and reception. Damn it.
I've picked out the ribbon, the invitation paper, the save the date paper, and maybe the envelopes. We've started a guest list. I've also started a song list for the DJ. That part is fun.
Actually, it's all fun, except for thinking about how to pay for it.
Anyone want to donate, or sponsor my wedding?

creative juices

2006-07-18T21:57:00.000-05:00

Nothing like setting a wedding date to rev up a girl's creativity. I have been thinking about so many things at once! The dress, the place, the food. . . mostly the dress.
I can't wait to go fabric shopping. I've found some new websites, but I really want to be able to touch and see in person; silk is so expensive!

Puppy and I have found a way to reconnect in the bedroom; a new ritual. Every night, he will rub me down with some cocoa butter. I said something the other day about not moisturizing on a daily basis, and how I really should. I said maybe he could do it for me. A few nights later, he said" I thought we were going to do the thing with the lotion" and voila. An erotic ritual is born. I mean, it really is good for my skin, too. But having his hands on me, soothing and warm; it's so comforting and exciting all at once.

I have a birthday party to go to on Friday night, and Saturday night! Two very different groups of friends. But both fun.

Work is going well, for both of us. We've been incredibly busy for the past week. It's like everyone came back from the beach house with the burning desire to have things framed, or something. Whatever it is, it's good. I hope it means I get a raise sooner than later.

I've also been busy in my sewing room, making a long white linen A-line skirt. I'm hoping to be done with it tomorrow, so I can start on the matching top. Lovely fabric.

Sorry for the silence.

2006-07-11T20:13:00.000-05:00

We had a lovely, relaxing 4th of July; I cleaned and puttered around, and he read. I used our new vaccuum cleaner and it's great. I've gotten my sewing room back in shape, and made Puppy some pajama bottoms.
We celebrated our 2nd anniversary yesterday. I took him out to dinner and gave him a framed picture of a puppy and a kitty. He gave me a very sweet card.
We decided to set a date for the wedding, and I've started working towards picking a place to have it.
I'm going tomorrow after work to see about joining Crunch, so that I can go work out after, or before work. I can tell that my diet is helping, but I really need to exercise.
Puppy has a new job and he loves it. It's closer to home, more independent, pays more, and has immediate benefits.
Life is good.

Hi, Y'all.

2006-06-21T08:32:00.000-05:00

I'm off today, yay. With no appointments or major chores to do. I have a million things to do, of course, but if I don't do them, the world will keep spinning.

I still hate my haircut. It's not cute. It's not sexy. It's definitely not my style. If I don't pin it up in the front, it's in my face. The back it terrible, jagged and unflattering. I can't begin to fathom what his intentions were. Puppy says he likes it, because he is sweet. I will watch for signs that it has grown enough to go have it trimmed into some other style with bated breath. And then I will call Miss Holly, and ask if I can please have some help.

Father's Day was nice, in spite of my migraine. I baked cookies for Puppy's father, and remembered to call my daddy and grandfather. Puppy and I went to the Dekalb Farmer's Market again, and got some yummy salmon for dinner that night. We got a few Dagoba chocolate bars to try, and some more of their enormous chicken breasts. I got a different, darker roast of coffee, to mix with the milder Mexican coffee that I bought last time. I just need a bigger taste. Very good stuff.

The house-hunt has begun. We are in touch with both a realtor, and a mortgage officer. This is going to happen.
Puppy has redoubled his efforts to find another job; he has an interview at a place in Kennesaw, which would still be convenient if we stay on this side of town, with access to the highway. I hope he gets it, he's very unhappy where he is; the micro-management is making him nuts.

The only thing that is fucking up my day is that I can't get into my Yahoo mail. What the Hell is going on over there? The service has sucked for about a week, now. I have had the same email for 7 years, now, please don't make me change, dammit!

Bad Haircut

2006-06-13T15:40:00.000-05:00

I hate it.
It's horrible.
It's worse than horrible.
I look like a 5 year old attacked my head with a steak knife.

What the fuck was he thinking? Did he make me ugly on purpose, for some twisted sense of revenge?

I have to go cry now.

Hair Cut

2006-06-13T08:46:00.000-05:00

I'm going today to a self-proclaimed diva for a hair cut; I have no idea what I'm going to ask for, but I am so bored with my hair I cannot even begin to tell you. I'm tired of being frumpy and fat; I need goals.

I want to be moved into our new house in 2 months.
I want to lose 10 lbs in the same amount of time.
I want to have a wedding date and start counting down to it. Preferably within the year.

Okay. So I've been shopping for houses online, through the website of a realtor that a friend used. I found several that fell within the space and price requirements. This can't be that difficult. People do it every day.

I think I will send money to pay for my COBRA insurance extension, so that I can start going to a chiropractor, so I don't hurt, so I can start yoga and exercise. It's $400. but I think it's worth it. Working 2 jobs might as well be good for something.

I have started a savings bank for wedding related stuff. I think St. Augustine or Amelia, next Spring. Of course, that will have to be discussed with Puppy. I have to start looking for the fabric for my dress.

Okay. I have to take the car for an oil change today, before the haircut. I also need to work on laundry. Not the washing of, but the putting away. And make muffins. Which means, basically, that I will not have a relaxing day off before I have to go in to the mall job. bleah.

Monday, Monday

2006-06-05T08:26:00.000-05:00

Off today, and up early; I guess it's the conditioning from being up so early the past 2 weeks. I was up finishing the 6th Harry Potter book until about 1 last night, but when Puppy kissed me goodbye, I couldn't go back to sleep.
We went to a baby shower yesterday, for one of our very few mutual friends, and then to the Farmer's Market. It was really fun to see him playing shower games, poor thing. He was very sweet about it, although I know he felt like he'd been plunked down in a foreign culture. I enjoyed it, just because it was a social event, and we don't do that very often. It wasn't very well organized, I don't think the sister had ever thrown one before.
The Market was great; fresh everything, and we got some great produce. It rained on us a couple of times, on the way back, and he Still hasn't replaced the damn' wiper blades. I tried to read, so I wouldn't exude fear. I really don't know how he can see, with the windshield clouded over like that.
We got some fresh salmon, and I made brown rice and broccoli, and it was good. I said I would make meatloaf with some of the freshly ground turkey we got, for tonight. I had better not forget, or Puppy will be sad.
In the meantime, though, I am going to take an air-conditioner to Puppy's parents' house, because theirs is not working, and it is too damn hot. I have a window unit from a previous life, and it has been sitting on the porch for a year, because we have no need of it. If it still works, it will at least help keep their house bearable.
There are a million things I should do today, but only so much time for any of it. We got a new vaccuum cleaner, and it needs to be run, especially in my sewing room.
I need to call about consolidating my student loans. I need to go talk to somebody about what we need to do to get a mortgage. I need to go to the income tax office and ask them if I can have the money that they took from me. (They re-paid a debt that I had already paid off. Lovely, isn't it?)
I need a haircut, but can't afford it, again. I need to go to the doctor, and see why I have this weird ache in my left side. I need a massage and a chiropractor visit. I need about $5,000 extra dollars to be lying about, and there isn't any.
Payday is Wednesday.

Happy Friday!

2006-05-26T14:59:00.000-05:00

I have been really bad about posting, lately; forgive me. I have been getting up at 5 in the morning to be at The Framers at 7. It's been exhausting, I have felt like I had jet lag. I worked both jobs yesterday, but got enough sleep last night so I feel Better. Yay, day off!

I really really like my new job. It's fun and low-stress. I can't wait for the first paycheck, so we can celebrate properly.

I found out today that I have grossly over-paid my last credit card, but they didn't bother to contact me to let me know to stop paying. fuckers. But, it's fixed, and I'm expecting a reimbursement check to come in the mail very soon. Which means I can start concentrating on my student loan payments, and get that all paid off, too. Oh, to be debt free!

I have also been taking a little bit of my paychecks and buying beads and components to start getting together an inventory. I want to be able to make some money off of my talents, and enjoy the process, as well. I don't think I can stay too long at Mark Shale, it's too stressful and boring, when I compare it to having a creative job.

Life is good, and getting better.

No cavities!

2006-05-18T10:00:00.000-05:00

I just got back from the dentist's office, after a lapse of 3 years. No cavities, yay!

I have to start getting ready for work, and it's so Nice outside that I really don't want to go. I want to go to Barnes and Noble and get the 6th Harry Potter book and hit the park with a blanket. sigh.
I think good Kitties deserve treats. But I will go to work anyway.

countdown

2006-05-12T09:32:00.000-05:00

Well, the store manager is on vacation. Dammit. So, I can't go to her and discuss the situation. I have to wait. I have decided that it really is unfair of the twit to force me to settle up accounts so suddenly; something akin to revenge for quitting. It's like indentured servitude, really. But I'd rather it come out of my time, than come directly out 0f my bank account.
And business has been terrible. Yet another Friday and I still need to make about 3,500. It's giving me insomnia. Thank goodness I'm bailing. I just want to go out with class, and not with a whimper.

Of two minds.

2006-05-11T09:48:00.000-05:00

I spoke to my immediate manager, yesterday. She is a very cute, very young woman with very little professionalism. Maybe she has a degree in fashion marketing or something. Either way. She doesn't want to keep me on as part time, after I start working at the frame shop. Which hurts my feelings. She's one who plays favorites, and is pretty much best friends with one of the part-time girls. That really is a no-no. So, I cannot decide if I should appeal to the Store manager, and try to stay there part time, or say 'fuck it' and bail.
I think I would be better off if I stay there part time, because it gives me time to even the accounts. Not to mention that I have learned their stupid systems and procedures, so wouldn't it be better for everyone involved if they didn't have to find someone new?? Plus, it's right down the street from the frame shop. easy.
Ugh. Why does she have to be a twit? And what am I going to do about it?

By the way.

2006-05-08T10:04:00.000-05:00

Just for clarity's sake: I am not religious. I have no animosity towards any groups of people, until they start shoving things down my throat. I have respect for everyone else, and expect the same. I don't feel that it is too much to ask, since that is the only way people can co-exist.

Contraception

2006-05-08T09:25:00.000-05:00

The New York Times today, which I only noticed because of Violet Blue, has an article about Contraception and the unfathomable fight against it.
This really pisses me off.
The people behind this movement, especially including anyone in our government, should be forced to bear a child that they cannot afford, live in poverty making minimum wage, put the child through school, until the child joins a gang or some other equally dumb, rebellious shit, because they can't see through to any better life, as all they've ever known is discrimination and difficulty. Only then should they be allowed to go back to whatever government job they are currently fucking up by being self-absorbed morons.
Perhaps when they have gone through all of the drama, pain and sacrifice that would be required of such a life, they will understand why it is that having the Choice of whether or not to get pregnant, whether or not to bear an unwanted child is such an Important, inalienable right. What they are doing now is just so wrong.
We are heading Back to the fucking Inquisition. The Christians are just as bad as they've ever been, they've just been quiet for a while. How is it that the loving, peaceful beliefs of religions always get forgotten in favor of the bigoted, self-righteous translations?
Listen to me, people. Anyone intelligent enough to know that they should not be currently having children should be encouraged to follow through; for the sake of the children, for the sake of society. A great deal of the world is over-populated as it is. This is a quality of life issue, have you not been paying attention??
Do not come after my medical rights; Do not attempt to infringe upon my rights to control My body, my immediate household environment is Not yours to control. Stop Forcing Your Religion On Other People.
Creating an environment where people cannot decide for themselves is not the answer. Taking away choices and freedoms is not the answer. Education, community, environmental awareness, self-sustainment - These are things that made this country, these are things that we are losing sight of, in favor of oppression, ignorance and wastefulness.
This nation can't feed all of the babies it has now, why the fuck are you trying to force-create more???

I got it!

2006-05-06T18:46:00.000-05:00

Well, I worked the day at the frame shop, yesterday, and they offered me the job. I like the people, and the shop is great. The gig is a good one. I will also be making about $150 more per week, with So much less stress. And they're flexible, and it's closer to home. I am So stoked.
Puppy and I went to Longhorn to celebrate; we had the Best service. He was courteous, didn't fuck up anything, and showed up as often as necessary. . . yay. We tipped extra, and told the manager how great he was.

I worked today, needed to make about $3,000. to make my week; I made about $1,000. lovely. I gave my notice that I would like to move to part-time, as I've found another job, and she didn't give me any grief. So, I will have two incomes for a while, and it will hopefully get us back on track for finding a house. And a car.
Things are looking up.

95%

2006-04-27T09:34:00.000-05:00

I'm Almost sure I have the job.
He called me yesterday and wants me to come in to work a day in the storefront, and then we'll discuss. sigh. I mean, I'm happy. But I'm not sure if I should Be happy, yet. urgh.
So, they like me, but they're not sure. They're concerned about my experience as a framer. Which, I know, is not an issue. But it rankles, a little bit, to be kept in such suspense.
But, it's good. I go in on my day off next Friday. So, I have a week to wait. Only then will I know if I should put in my notice.
Speaking of which, I'm going in early today. I have to make $5,000 in the next 3 days.

Second Interview

2006-04-20T08:58:00.000-05:00

I have been called! I get to go to the production facility on Monday, to spend half a day with them, to see if the production manager likes me for the job! Yay!
Now, all I have to do is impress her. It's easier with men, but she sounded very down-to-earth. This is so good.

Now, I just have to make it to $63,000 worth of sales at my current job, in the next two weeks, for them to be happy with me. bleah.

I can't wait to be framing again!

Still Waiting.

2006-04-18T08:37:00.000-05:00

Erg. I really really hope I get this job.

I'm going to have to do something about the a/c in the car; i can't sweat my way through another summer. It's already getting up to the 80s here, yuck.
That means more money is needed. I hope my tax return comes soon.

Meanwhile, I didn't make it to the shoe store yesterday, and I am determined to do it today.

On Tenterhooks

2006-04-17T09:09:00.000-05:00

I think they're going to hire me at the frame shop, so I am waiting for the call letting me know. I hope hope hope they call, please let them call! It is a very nice shop, in a great neighborhood, in a busy shopping center. It's not too far, and even if we move, it won't be hard to find somewhere close, because it's on Peachtree, which I can access a couple of different ways.

I am also waiting for an email letting me know that my tax efiles have been accepted. I have already written out the check I owe to the state. I am getting a little bit back from federal, but am sending half of that to state. sigh.

I finished the 5th Harry Potter book yesterday, but don't have the 6th, yet. Puppy made crabcakes and mashed sweet potatoes last night, it was very good. I have to decide if I want to take that, or the leftover meatballs, for lunch today. I am going to leave the house a little early, because I have to get gas and put air in the tires. Gas prices have gotten ridiculous again, dammit. If I leave early enough, I can stop by DSW and shoe shop before work. . .
Gotta go!

Mo' betta birthday

2006-04-09T22:28:00.000-05:00

Okay, so today, starting at midnight this wee morning, has been wonderful. I haven't had such a great birthday in a few years, if I can even remember one.
We had sex. Yay. Good sex. Puppy-initiated sex.
He made me breakfast, then went to the grocery store. I read Harry Potter, from my new Harry Potter box-set that my friend Jerry sent to me.
We had sex again.
He took me to lunch at The Atlanta Fish Market. Yum. Very-very yum. It was a beautiful day.
We watched a movie, Dark City. Kinda like Mirror Mask/Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Then, there was cake. Not just cake, but Cake. From Alons. Chocolate mousse cake, with fresh strawberries and whipped cream on the side. ummmmm.
Now I'm waiting for my laundry to be done, so I can crawl into bed beside my very sweet Puppy.
I have an interview in the morning.
Then I have to do my taxes. But with a little cake mixed in, it won't be so bad.

Interview

2006-04-04T09:31:00.000-05:00

Ooh! I have an interview with a frame shop next Monday morning!!! Please let it be something worth pursuing, and not another crap job.

I spent the day, yesterday, repairing the necklace for my customer, grocery shopping, and cooking. I spoke to Sam, but didn't get around to my grandmother and father. . . should do that today.
I am going to have to refresh my mind about cutting mats, and fractions, and stuff. . . Oh, it would be so great to be back in a creative business!!

The cycle begins anew

2006-04-03T11:08:00.000-05:00

I've been applying to jobs online. . . found a couple of picture framing positions last night that I will pursue.
I didn't make my week last week, by $1,200, much less hit the $10,000 they wanted me to hit. it's such bullshit. "make phone calls", they say. to whom?

Today I must grocery shop, work on employment, and go to the SAS shoe store to see what they have. I have to repair the necklace of a customer, so that I may be able to return it to her for a little cash. I am supposed to have lunch with a friend, perhaps, if our schedules mesh. I also need to call my father, grandmother, and Sam.
That's a lot to cram into one day off. And I really need to do my taxes, get gas in the car, and check the air in the freakin' tires. They really shouldn't lose pressure so quickly. I think they need to be replaced, but who has the $$$ for that? Not this Kitty.
sigh.

holy. shit.

2006-03-29T20:34:00.000-05:00

I am supposed to (somehow) make another $20,000.00 at work in the next week and a half. That's my 'quota'.
Right now, for this week, I've sold about $860.00. Um. Yeah.

Anybody out there need a new suit??

debt management

2006-03-28T12:45:00.000-05:00

I only have $170.00 to pay off, and all of my credit card debt from my marriage will be gone!! It's only taken 7 years. I'm really excited about it.
I have one more student loan to pay off, and then I won't have any major debt. Of course, we're looking to get a mortgage. So, that will be about 3 times as much debt all rolled into one big thing. But it's different, somehow.
Anyway, I'm trying to decide what to do with my day off; the options are not great, since there's about $13 in my checking account. I ought to go in to work for a few hours, but I Really don't want to. I think I will get dressed and take the necklace back, since I wasn't able to do it the other day.
It's really gray outside, but I guess that is better than hot; I really hope I can afford to have the air conditioning fixed in the car this Spring, before it gets really bad.
I need to start thinking about what we are going to do about buying a house. It all seems so overwhelming. But it must be done. Puppy isn't going to work on it, that much is obvious. I have to be the instigator in everything.
I just wish I had more knowledge of the world and how it works.

good manners

2006-03-27T10:03:00.000-05:00

Maybe we are just too damn polite to each other.?? Is it respect, or laziness? I don't really know. We need some kind of jolt to get us back into some kind of sexual accord, because I just don't know what to do.
I have 5 more days til payday. I still don't know my schedule for the week of the party/my birthday.
We watched Slingblade for the first time on Saturday night; very bizarre. It was like looking back at parts of my childhood.
I guess I'm not really feeling much like writing.

Communication Breakdown

2006-03-24T12:49:00.000-05:00

Things are not so good here on the homefront.
Puppy is still pretty much walking around looking like I smell bad. He was mad at me for not checking the tire pressure and letting it get very low. Okay, fine. It really didn't occur to me; I've been preoccupied. I forget to floss my teeth sometimes, too. for fuck's sake.
But he hasn't really been talking to me for like, 4 days. So there has been no dialogue about the whole thing. What he said, after I wrote him a not apologizing, was, "I'll let it go, but you have to check the air in the tires because it could get you killed." Alright already!!! I said I would!
It really pisses me off when he is so fucking inflexible and judgemental. When he has been speaking to me, his tone of voice has been insupportable. Very short, and condescending. I fucking Hate that. His moodiness reminds me of the step-father who I still have nightmares about; he shouldn't talk to me like that, or anyone he loves, but he does it to his mother, too. this needs to be dealt with, and I don't know where to start.
What really pisses me off about the whole thing, is that he promised me he would change the windsheild wipers on the car he is driving A Year Ago, and hasn't done it, and that's just as dangerous, because he can't really see when it rains.
I don't want to fight with him. I have tried to let it all blow over. But he's acting like a jerk. I know it comes down to his not having proper communication tools, because if he loves me he should be able to talk to me about all of this. Now I need the happy drugs; I get physical pains from the tension in the house. Which just pisses me off even more.
He left a note on the necklace he bought me for Christmas; "TAKE THIS BACK". how fucking romantic and sweet. Nevermind that he bought me something that I don't like, on the internet and with not much thought. Nevermind that I've asked him repeatedly to come with me to exchange it. I would NEVER act this way, and I'm having a lot of trouble understanding or knowing how to respond.

Meanwhile, I'm waiting to find out if I have an interview with a picture framer for a position in a shop. I am going to go in to work for a few hours, in the hopes that I can bring my numbers up this week. And apparently I'm going to the jewelry store as well, alone, with resentment. Great present. If I could just get a refund, I would. I don't have his credit card, though. I don't even want anything to remind me of the fucking thing. which is horrible.

lovely day, no?

The car won't start.

2006-03-21T16:50:00.000-05:00

sigh.
I am stuck here.
I am not happy about it.

grr.

Looks like Puppy will be taking me to work all this week. I need a mechanic that does house calls.

Bad Dog

2006-03-21T10:27:00.000-05:00

Puppy is in one of his moods again. I'm telling you, the man needs some chemical balancing. Damn it. So, I'm trying not to let it get me down, since it's my day off and I want to have some fun.
I have errands to run, and then I think I'm going to go to the shoe store, to see what the prices of SAS shoes are thesedays. I am hoping to go hang out with a friend (anybody available), since I haven't done that in months. I want some sushi. Or some french fries. yum.
Kisses.

Crabcakes

2006-03-19T21:48:00.000-05:00

Puppy made crabcakes for me!! It was very very sweet and brave of him; he'd never made them before, and it's not even something I've ever attempted. yum yum yum, and I got to eat them in my pajamas, too. I made a mango-butter sauce to go with them, mmmmm.

Now I'm waiting for my chamomile tea to kick in, so I can go to sleep. I have to open tomorrow, so it's an early night, tonight. Work was a struggle today. I just don't think this job is for me. Time to start looking again. sigh.
It's a nice store, and the benefits are great. I enjoy about every 5th customer or so. In between those nice people are neurotic, comlaining, rude bitches with more money than manners. It's really hard to smile all day when there's so much negative energy coming back at me. I need an emotional raincoat, to deflect all that crap so that I don't get pulled down in to it. I sound so damn negative. bleah. I know that there are much worse jobs. I've had a couple of them, already. It's not a coal mine. Or a whore-house (although I'd probably enjoy that more.). It's not forced labor or compromising my principles. It's just a drag.
If the money picks up, it might be okay, but I really don't know.

honeymoon. over.

2006-03-17T23:57:00.000-05:00

Okay, so the last two days of my job have sucked ass. It's been really slow, but there are still the same amount of sales people on the floor; bad combo. I'm realizing that I'm just not aggressive or mercenary enough to make it in this place. I also found out today that there is no grace period with the commission thing. They expect you to make your goal from the first week, and if you don't, you go in the hole until you make it up. So, even when I start making commission sales, I won't get any money until I make enough to make up for the fact that I owe about $200, so far. Jesus. And nobody told me this until now, when there's no hope of going back and fixing the past two weeks. Grr.
I may not make it very far in this. It sounds really lame, but I don't want to change my personality or my way of working just to fit in at this cutthroat place.

So, anybody listening, please be a little bit nicer to salespeople. It's really tough out there.

No Politics

2006-03-15T09:05:00.000-05:00

The Prince concert is tonight!! Puppy went to pick up the tickets this morning on his way to work. I didn't manage to sleep late, so there will be some definite caffiene imbibement this evening. I also have to go ahead and decide what I'll be wearing today, tonight, and tomorrow, since I will be groggy, probably. I'm getting so old. I used to be able to go to work, go dancing, get 4 hours of sleep and do it all over again. No more. But stability is better, right? :-)

We watched 'He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not' last night, what a brain twist! Very enjoyable, and funny that we watched it one month after V-day, when I had intended to give it to him. I can't wait for the day when I can watch French movies without subtitles and be able to keep up.

So, my birthday is less than a month away. blah. I wanted to go down to Amelia, but we probably can't. Dad told me that they were about to close on a new house, so when we Do go, we'll have a spare room to ourselves. Very cool. I can't wait to be on the beach again.
In the meantime, I need to be making more money. I wonder what would happen if I took out an ad in the Creative Loafing, advertising for clients? Would people actually come and let me help them shop, or would they be expecting a little extra in the fitting room? eieww.
Time to pick out the Kitty clothes.

Imposition

2006-03-13T09:38:00.000-05:00

Reading the news makes my blood-pressure go up. And now a lot of other bloggers are talking about the news, which means that I just can't get away from what's going on in the world. I guess it's a good thing, really, even if I have to eat another antacid.

So, here's what I'm thinking about the whole South Dakota, anti-abortion, anti-contraceptive Thing:

Don't impose your religious beliefs on me.
Don't bring religion into the laws, as much as you can possibly help it.
Do what is right based on a strong ethical background.
Protect individual rights, State's rights, and Federal rights; in doing so, hopefully, we will have a stronger union wherein people with different beliefs can be happy, so long as they are not hurting other people.
Why is this so hard?
Anyone who reads history knows that the best leaders, the ones that are remembered with respect, are the ones that didn't slaughter those with opposing beliefs, so long as they were peaceful. The leaders that respected other cultures and let them develop and thrive are the ones that were strong; oppressors are toppled eventually, because they are hated instead of loved.
It is the same thing for our legislators, governors and presidents; Guys, Pay Attention! Put down your evangelical agendas and govern Wisely.

We need some serious 'Prince and the Pauper' type stuff here. Anyone who wants to oppress and restrict women should have to act as one, preferably a poor one.
Take off the $2,000 suit, have an income of about $15,000 a year, and be told that you are pregnant; You have no car, your boyfriend has gone back to his ex, and when your ultra-conservative parents find out that your baby will be mixed-race they will disown you, taking away any possible support. But because you couldn't get your birth-control pills on time, because the pharmacist wouldn't fill the scrip because of his 'right' to refuse you, you're having a baby.
Of course, you won't be able to stay at home with it, since you have to work. So it will grow up in Daycare, that you really can't afford, which you get to by riding the bus, on your way to work long hours so you can afford a crappy apartment in a dangerous neighborhood, and daycare.
Never mind that neither one of you will have much of a chance of higher education, home-ownership, or an early retirement, all the things that these law-makers take for granted. Never mind that these same lawmakers that are pushing to revoke the right to access birth-control, or get an abortion, are the same people who don't support healthcare reforms or welfare. Not that I like welfare, you understand, but you can't have it both ways. Somebody has to feed these children. That's a whole other problem.
Okay, that's the end of my rant on this particular subject, for now. I just get really frustrated by oppressive stupidity. I know that some people object to abortion because of their religion; that's fine. So don't have one. I respect your decisions, because they are based on what You feel is best for you. Just accord me the same respect.
That's all.

sunburnt

2006-03-12T21:58:00.000-05:00

We went to the park, and I forgot to put on sunblock. sigh.
It was lovely, though. Puppy and I walked for a long time, and then went to FROGS and had taquitos. I love the weather here, before Summer really creeps in and it's icky. On the way to the park, we dropped off the Millenium Falcon; hopefully the mechanic will be able to change out the motor mounts and replace the transmission pan without too much drama. fingers crossed.

We just watched "The Horseman on the Roof" and it was really good. I love Juliette Binoche. All in all an excellent day. Puppy has been slathering me with aloe and cocoa butter, so that maybe I won't hurt to badly, or peel. sweet man.

Tomorrow I am off again, and have no car. So I will try to be creative while I am cooped up in the apartment. I have already planned to do some cooking, so that we will have plenty to eat this week. Broccoli chicken casserole, and meatloaf; maybe chicken in the oven??

Now it's time to crawl in the bed with my man. He's almost done with 'The Once and Future King', and I hope to have the sequel here for him tomorrow. Come on, UPS man.
Good night!

The Blank Noise Project

2006-03-12T09:51:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm the second or third ripple in the pond; but here I am. As a reasonably civilized and educated person who has created a world that is accepable and sane, I forget sometimes that the real world is not always as I want it to be. I mean, I read the news, but I insulate myself from the worst of it, just so I don't have nightmares. It is a self-preservation thing. Really, I just get lazy sometimes. If I don't help make things better for anyone I can, I'm just part of the problem, right?
It's kind of like all the intelligent upper-echelon deciding to not have children because of the state of the world, when, really, they should be the ones raising tomorrow's population in an environment that will cause the world to become better for everyone's children. Otherwise, we're outnumbered for real. Does that make any sense?

So, I'm just going to say that I will try to write more about things beyond my own puny little life, and share my opinion, when I have one, in the hope that it will open discussion, if nothing else.
Moving right along; People, in general, are not taught manners at home. I don't know why this is. Just using an example of my own town, the traffic here is abominable, and mostly because everyone in a car is driving as if they are the only one on the road. People speed up to cut in line, instead of merging With the flow of traffic.
It is the same when walking through the mall; people do not step aside, slow the flow, or merge when walking; it is ridiculous, really. A little courtesy really does go a long way when dealing with strangers, and it only ends up making the giver feel better, whether or not the jerk you bestowed it on ever notices or not.
Even more important than general courtesy is the manners that men have when they are around women.
It's amazing to me that so many cultures have Demonized the very sexuality that is the only way to propagate our species. We all generally like it and want it, but we have made it such an ugly thing! So, men finding visual stimulation in women feel as if they have been dirty and turn it around to blame women, who were probably thinking about what new curtains to put up, or what to make for dinner, as they were being ogled and harrassed as they walk through the market. Instead of accepting beauty where they find it, and keeping a rein on themselves, men let loose and denigrate what they find attractive. How stupid and counter-productive is That? It only makes them look like animalistic morons, women certainly aren't receptive to such threatening behavior, so everyone walks away from such an encounter less well off than they were before.
I don't guess it's too obvious a thing to say that Everyone should be able to walk down a sidewalk with the assurance that they will Not Be Molested or Harrassed. It goes right up there with the ability to live your life as you choose, as long as you are not harming any one else (within reason, of course). Laws and governments should protect the citizens that fall under their jurisdiction. But at a very basic level, people should be more respectful and protective of each other, whether or not you can agree on everything. How else are we going to live together on the over-populated planet?

Treat others as you would be treated.
Do not judge another person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

These are all the same concept, really. Be NICE!!

Prince Tickets!!

2006-03-12T09:42:00.000-05:00

Yep. Puppy won tickets to the Prince (& Tamor, whoever that is) show at the Tabernacle on Wednesday!! He doesn't even like Prince that much, but he did it for me. . . love love love. We're both going to be tired the next day at work, but it will be So worth it, and for Free!

It's Sunday, and I don't have to work today or tomorrow, Yay! My feet need the rest, if the rest of me doesn't. Although, I think the plan is to head to Piedmont park for a walk, but at least I can wear sneakers. I guess we also need to go pick the tickets up at the radio station. It is 70 degrees, I'm high on turkey bacon, and life is pretty good.
Kisses.

Okay, better.

2006-03-10T14:39:00.000-05:00

The phone works, after 2 hours of no signal. I took a shower, and the Advil kicked in. I still haven't heard from Sam, but even if Puppy has to pick me up when he gets off work, I can still drop the car off, I guess.
I need to figure out my bank balance, so I will know if I can go to the grocery store, or not. I guess I can let Puppy do it, tomorrow, if he will.
We get paid on opposite weeks, which will make it a little easier on us, I think. Until I start bringing in commission checks, my paycheck is tiny, even worse than where I was working before. Business has been awful this week, and I can only hope that it's not indicative of what I can expect.
I have to say, I wish I could host a class on retail manners. People are unbelievably surly;
Okay, people, here's the reality of it: I am Required to greet you. I am Required to inquire after your day, whether you want assistance, and how you are doing. You know, perverse creature that you are, that you would be Miffed if you came into a store and were not greeted. Yet you refuse eye contact, reply as if you are being imposed upon, and proceed to refuse help that would make your shopping trip shorter, more productive, and more enjoyable!
I am not aggressive. I enjoy helping people, nice people, find what they need. I only make money if I Sell things, but I only want to sell you things that you want to buy anyway. You should be nice to me; I can help you find pants that make your butt look better.

Damn it!

2006-03-10T12:58:00.000-05:00

It's my day off. For which I am grateful. But so far, it has not been stellar. I have cramps, my phone won't work, and I can't figure out how to delete the spam comment on the last post. grr.

I'm working on all three things, but right now, I wish I could go back to bed and start over.

I'm supposed to have lunch (or something) with Sam, and I was hoping that she would bring me home after I dropped the car off at the mechanic. But I can't call her because my phone wouldn't call out, and then I turned it off, and it won't come back on! So now I'm not sure what to do, short of driving over to her apartment, hoping that she will be there. There's maybe a 50/50 chance.
In the meanwhile, I should be showering. I don't want to waste the free time I have. It's 73 degrees outside, I should be enjoying it, instead of grumping away my afternoon.

Freedom of Expression

2006-03-06T09:59:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness for it.
I've been reading the news, so I'm reminded that I appreciate my rights.
Wouldn't it be great if it were possible to completely Stop our government for about a month, go back to the Constitution and the Amendments and start over? Really take them as they are, and cut out all the bullshit added over the years by nasty people with agendas that ran/run contrary to the good of the whole? Rebuild a simpler and truer system with all the parts functioning as they ought to, cutting out all the partisan crap that only fosters stupidity, greed, corruption and inefficiency?
sigh.

Boy, my feet hurt.

2006-03-03T22:28:00.000-05:00

Wow.
I don't think I've ever been in this much pain just from standing all day. It's the combination of standing all day and being forced to wear 'cute' shoes. I've always worked retail; I just usually get to wear sneakers. yow. I'll be spending some significant dollars on some good shoes, very soon.
On the bright side, I think I like it. The Worst part is the pain, the job itself is a piece of cake.

I finally got my money from my mother-fucking ex-employer. The little boy behind the counter at the bank obviously has a crush on him; I really wanted to tell him a few quick stories of dog-shit, ranting fits and other general nastiness, but he wouldn't believe me anyway. Some things you just have to find out for yourself. Hopefully he won't catch any nasty viruses before he finds out the guy is a sociopath.

Either way, I'm done with it. I got my first paycheck today; okay, so I hope the commission checks make up for it. yikes.
I'm tired, but content. Puppy is in the shower; it's a late night for us. Fortunately for me, I switched shifts with somebody, and don't have to be in til 1 pm tomorrow; Yay. I get to sleep til 9 or so, which is So much better than working night then getting up at 7 am!!
Kisses!

insomnia.

2006-02-26T00:53:00.000-05:00

Why am I not in bed? If I were, I'd just lie there, like the 4 or 5 previous nights, thinking, thinking, thinking, but not sleeping.
I am really having a hard time switching gears into sleepytime lately. I think partly it's due to sexual frustration. My sex drive is coming back, which is good, because we both missed it.
It's also bad, because we have fallen into a rut, and I don't know if we're going to be able to get out of it. Puppy has said to me several times that sex seems like too much work. I don't know how to feel about that. I think it Should be work. If you're going to be creative and inspiring, you have to think about it, plan things, daydream, fantasize. . . that takes a lot of energy. But you can't really have good sex in a relationship without it. Especially if you lack certain animal instincts. Puppy is not a hedonist. I don't think he knows how to put himself in my place. If sex is only about the release, what's the fun in that? I need to figure out how to express these things before I get too frustrated.
He's also said several times how stupid he finds the whole dominant/submissive concept. So how the fuck do I explain that I need a little bit of that??? His passivity is maddening. Sometimes, a girl just wants to be fucked. within the confines of a loving, supportive relationship, of course.
I don't even know where to start. So, it's 1 a.m., and I'm sitting here, scanning the news.

Elementary

2006-02-23T17:43:00.000-05:00

It's my day off, so I've been reading more Sherlock Holmes. I'm halfway through the Hound of the Baskervilles, and then I'll be done with everything I have on hand. I want to track down the other things Doyle wrote, I have a feeling I will enjoy them. Geekiness has its own joy.

So, I sold 2 whole things at work; a dress and a sweater. I'm on my way to riches and fame, baby. I work tomorrow and Saturday, and I really hope that business picks up at the store, because it has been really slow. Although, I guess I need more time to really acclimate and gain product knowledge. but it's boring with nobody to sell to.

We are going to run out of groceries way before I get paid for the first time and I don't know what to do about it. I am waiting for the bounced paychecks to come back from my bank so I can take them to Suntrust and see if they will cash them for me, so that I can buy food. Puppy is going to have to pay the rent all by himself unless I get it settled. My account is almost $400 negative.

I walked to the office to get my package from my grandparents, instead of driving. I take the stairs at work, and I'm really trying to eat less calories and more veggies and fruit. Of course, when we start running out of fresh groceries, the things that are left are pasta and cheese.
And chocolate.

I'm going to go finish my book.
smooch.

brain-dead

2006-02-20T22:21:00.000-05:00

I had my first day at Lenox today; I spent 3 hours doing paper-work, and 4 hours trying on career-clothes. I am supposed to somehow remember all the price points and styles and what colors they come in from this, but I have to say that I don't think that's going to do it. It's all a blur of wool, silk and polyester at this point.
I got off at 9, and have to be back in at 9:15a.m. This isn't going to make my gastroenterologist happy; he has told me about 5 times not to eat 3 hours before bed. He's never worked retail.
The clothes are nice, though. I haven't heard from the bed place; I guess I'll have to make do with what I've got. I think I'm going to need a little more caffiene in my life. I'm going to have to invent a game face, and plaster it on when I'm there.

And I have Got to lose 15 pounds.

Kisses.

photo post

2006-02-19T18:45:00.000-05:00

I'm posting this old picture of myself because I am trying to remember how to post a photo. I have never been able to figure out how to get my picture in my profile. I'm sure this is boring to the rest of the world, but we can just chalk it up to growing pains. The picture was taken last year.

Links.

2006-02-19T18:14:00.000-05:00

I have hoped, since I started this thing, that I would gradually become more adept at blogging, and adding things to my page, etc. . . I don't seem to have. I am trying to figure it out, now. But mostly I just feel dumb.
So, we'll all see if I can figure out how to do it.
I have tried to add two blogs to my list. But they're not showing up, so I must be doing the wrong thing.

Happy Saturday

2006-02-18T09:12:00.000-05:00

It's my first Sat. off in a month or so. But Puppy had to go in to work for a few hours because of an overload of returns, so I am up at the usual time with nothing fun to do. I have already been through the news, the smut, and the misc. reading I do every morning.
I emailed my ex-boss to let her know that I was available if she needs me for a few hours. Maybe I can pick up a few extra dollars. She has been very kind, and although I know it stems from her own need of a pair of extra hands, I appreciate it.

I re-deposited the paycheck from the Antiques place; if it bounces again I am going
after him with a blow-torch. Of course, I'd have to buy a blow-torch first. . . nevermind. I'll just go to the Department of Labor like I originally planned to do, that would be a much worse punishment.

Lunch with my grandparents went well. I wish they lived closer. I miss them, in spite of our Huge differences of opinion. I just wish that they would ask about Puppy, or tell me to tell him 'Hello', anything. . . It makes him sad that they don't even do that. And it would be so simple.

I worked my day at the bed place. I enjoyed working with the store manager, she's my age and fun. Very driven to sell and make money, that one. I told her that I had the other offer, but that I was pretty sure I'd be happier there. So, I am waiting for their official word on whether or not I'm hired.

Meanwhile, I start at the clothing place on Monday. I'm very nervous about it, because I really don't fit in at Lenox mall any more. I'm 30+, overweight, and my wardrobe is seriously out-dated. I know that I don't look the way I Think I look, and that I carry myself as someone with a lot of self-confidence. . . but on the inside I am having flashbacks of jr. high. only worse.
So, I went through my closed yesterday, culling the herd, as it were. I pulled out clothes that, even if I lost 20lbs, I probably wouldn't wear anyway, because they're very Dance Diva, which I am no longer. I miss dancing, btw, and really wish I had a girlfriend or two to drag me out of the house. My fault, really.

I guess I'll go take a shower and prepare to face the world. I don't really have anything specific to do, except take back the necklace Puppy got me for xmas. I give up waiting for him to do it, or even going with me. grr.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2006-02-14T10:15:00.000-05:00

Yes, yes, it's an overly commercial bullshit made-up holiday. But I like all holidays, and any excuse to give and receive presents, so I don't care. I like having specific days to celebrate love and life, because some people don't remember to do it every day.

In other news, I put in my notice at the Antiques place on Sunday. I made sure that my accounts were in order, that I didn't owe him anything. Yesterday, I found out that my second to last paycheck had bounced. So I have been desperately scrambling to make sure that as few things as possible bounce. . . I emailed him about it and he emailed back that he had ordered a stop-payment. So, now I am waiting to see if he does the same thing with my Last paycheck, because that is the only thing holding back the flood of insufficient funds charges. Mother fucker. He said that he'll "let me know when he has the money" to pay me back. They charged Me $10 because his raggedy-ass check bounced. I have to contact the Department of Labor today to see what can be done about my stolen wages. lovely. For the record, he's an amoral, racist, self-serving, illegal-drug-using sociopath.

I go in to the new job on Thursday, to see how I feel about it. Which doesn't mean I'm hired. The only thing I am worried about is that the benefits are Not comparable to the other job I have been offered, by far. So I don't know if I should take the job that I Think may be less stress, but lower benefits, or take the job I think may be More stress, but Very good benefits. bleah. Being an adult is Not all it's cracked up to be.
I have given myself a migraine from being stressed out, which is Not conducive to Valentine's Day seduction. I got some slutty lingerie and everything.

I'm supposed to have lunch with Sam, who is not doing very well. She's going through her possessions, getting her affairs in order, because she doesn't expect to live very much longer. I don't really know how to deal with it. Tomorrow I have lunch with my grandparents; it's my grandfather's birthday. I baked him a pecan pie using my mother's recipe. I let the crust get a little too brown. I hope he likes it.
need to go relax, so this headache will maybe ease off.
Kisses!

Chili for dinner

2006-02-02T20:20:00.000-05:00

I am waiting for Puppy to get home from work so that we can eat. Since he is held up, I made chili, and it smells really good.
I hate my job at the antiques place; my plan is to work out the week, get paid on Saturday, and not go back. I do not want the ugly scene it will create if I tell him face to face that I am quitting; his manners are That bad.
I have a second interview with the clothing store, which suprises me. I have a first interview with a furniture place, which actually interests me more than the other.
I really really really want a good job that is fun and stable and creative.

I've been shopping for Valentine's Day goodies; chocolate, of course. A movie we haven't seen. I need to hit an 'adult' store for the rest of it. I hope we go to dinner somewhere yummy, but not Morton's again, for sure. I don't need a live lobster waved in my face.
I need a vehicle. I expect the Millenium Falcon to go kaput at any moment. My father told me today that he bought a Toyota Scion, and he loves it. hmm. I kind of want a truck, for moving purposes, but maybe that would work better?

I need to go stir the chili. Good night!

Hmm.

2006-01-25T09:19:00.000-05:00

Well, I started the job at the antiques place. There are good things and bad things, in about equal proportion. The pieces are very nice. The money is good. I have to clean up after an untrained dog. The owner is into illicit drugs. (using, not selling, but still.) The customers are usually cool. The boss is racist, impatient and snotty. Hmm.
I interviewed on Friday, and I'll interview tonight. Conservative clothing stores, don't know if it'll work out, but I have to try. Barnes and Noble still hasn't called me back. Hancock's likewise. Which really sucks. The places where I could excell are not interested, but the places I'm not sure about want to talk to me.

Either way, I've stopped the hormonal birth control, in the hopes that my sex drive would come back. I hope that it will also help my losing weight, but the sex drive thing was the worst.
Meanwhile, I'm coming down with a cold. I have to get ready for work, and also get my clothes ready for the interview. It's at Lenox mall. I don't know if I want to work at Lenox mall again, even if the store seems to be a good fit. I don't know who I'm trying to kid; I don't have the wardrobe to work in a snotty clothing store. Phooey. Maybe I should cancel the interview??
Going to places where people are dressed fashionably only reminds me that I am 30 and overweight and poor. blah.

On a happy note, Puppy and I will probably go to the High this weekend with his family to see the Wyeth exhibit. I am seriously looking forward to that. We didn't do anything to celebrate his birthday, except for the presents I gave him.
We went Sunday night to see Narnia, and it was enjoyable. I am glad, I was halfway nervous he wouldn't like it.

Wish me luck, both in shaking this cold and at the interview. . . if I go.

Job Hunting

2006-01-05T10:49:00.000-05:00

I don't know if it's 'Job Hunting Again', or 'Job Hunting, Still', but here I am scanning the job websites and sending out my resume all over the place. I'm trying Barnes and Noble, Hancock's, and Wachovia.
I am down to one day a week, barely, at my current job. Puppy says she's only keeping me on as a favor, I say it's because she needs someone to do grunt-work. Maybe it's both. Either way, she's completely switching formats, from retail to Ebay.
I just need a definite paycheck that will cover my bills. Even two days a week was okay, especially with the possibilities of this new job with the antiques place. But yesterday I was there for 5 hours and she called to tell me to close up and go home. Now, that's not really cool, is it?
I'm about to put on my suit and take a lovely paper copy of my resume to the places I've already applied to online. Cover all the bases, knock'em dead, all that stuff.
Anybody know anybody who needs somebody like me? :-)
Wish me luck.

Happy New Year.

2006-01-01T09:36:00.000-05:00

Puppy is in the kitchen making breakfast. My dad is in our guest room (the sewing room, much rearranged) sleeping, hopefully. The breakfast smells yummy, but he sure is making a lot of noise when we have a guest asleep. Isn't it funny how different families have different ideas of what is the 'right' way to do things?
Please don't think I am not grateful for his cooking. It's just that when I am asleep, all the breakfast in the world can't make me un-grumpy if I have been awakened to banging and clanking.
Anyway. Tangent.
I actually spent some time with my family in the past week. I saw my maternal grandparents, great-aunt, aunt and cousin the day before Christmas Eve. I spent time at my brother's house and finally saw my nephew for the first time. (He's great) Puppy and I spent Christmas day with his parents and sisters. And now my dad is here, which is unexpected, unprecedented, really. I'm not sure how long he's going to stay, but I'm glad he's here.
We had a flood last night, right after dinner. A disgusting and unsanitary mess of drain water started spewing up from our washing machine drain, completely flooding the kitchen, laundry room, dining room and pantry. It was truly foul. So, while Puppy and I mopped and bailed, Dad watched Batman Begins in the recliner. The plumbers came, and then the carpet cleaner; by 12:30 we were mostly dry again.
I have to go; Puppy says the food is ready.
Kisses!

Traffic Court

2005-12-20T18:44:00.000-05:00

It took an hour and a half for my case to get dismissed. Interesting people-watching, though. I had to pay $8.00 for parking, which was a screaming rip-off.

My dad called today, said he may be coming up next week, which is a wonderful suprise. I hope that while he is here I have a couple of days off.
I talked to my grandmother today, and she said my little brother may be at the family thing on Thursday, which I'm really not happy about. I may not go. In fact, if Puppy can't go with me, I probably won't go. I'm just not that interested. And the chance that my evil ex-step-father will be there increases to a degree that I cannot abide. Too much drama and negativity.

On a happy note, Puppy got a new phone for me; it's very snazzy. I haven't figured out how to use all of the features, yet, but I will.

I'm still not completely sure if I have a second job or not; my prospective new boss hasn't contacted me about what time he wants me there, or how much he wants to pay me. hmm. I guess I'll call him tomorrow.

I have had a creative past few days, making jewelry and scarves right and left. Of course, if I don't go to the family party, the gifts that I made will have to be re-distributed elsewhere. Which is good, when you consider that I am totally not ready for the freakin' holidays. :-) Yikes.

I have to decide what to make for dinner. No clue. Last night was fish, the night before Lasagne, the night before salad. . . I really am not inspired. But Puppy will be home soon. Think, think, think. . .

Job Interview

2005-12-15T09:39:00.000-05:00

Yep.
I quit the horrible job that I worked for 2 years 8 months and 1 day. I feel so good about it, I do not regret at all that I quit.
Now the only problem is where am I going to get a paycheck from. . . ?
Well, the part-time thing I've been doing does not seem to be flourishing; there is a distinct lack of communication from the owner. I don't like that at all. So, I go today to see about a job right down the street from where I work already, but in an established location. Hopefully for someone with more business sense and communication skills. I do know that he has a nice dog, so he can't be all bad.

Puppy and I are invited to the family Christmas thing! My grandmother called to let me know that my aunt had been asking if I was coming. Now, I would love to have heard the conversation wherein they discussed my black boyfriend. . . but I will just be happy and grateful that they came to the conclusion that they could accept him at the house. I really am glad that my grandparents are mellowing out, and maybe even liking him a little?? I certainly know that he's the best thing to happen to me, and I think that they will figure it out eventually.
Now. I have to go figure out what the Hell to wear to this interview. It's sleeting out there.
wish me well! I will post what happens. . . I have more free time to write, now that I'm not working 60 hours a week.
Kisses.

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-11-24T22:21:00.000-05:00

It's been a slightly strange but good one for me; Puppy and I went and got the last of my things from my grandparents' house in Sharpsburg. We met them down there and loaded up their truck and then had a potluck lunch. It was very good to see them, and to have a family dinner in that house once more before they tear it down to build a damn doctor's office.
It was also phenomenal that the same two people that were so very very racist have started to warm up to Puppy, and accept him. My grandmother even gave him a hug today. wow.
So the apartment is once again full of boxes of stuff. . . We are going to have one amazing yard sale before we move out of here.

morning

2005-11-12T08:10:00.000-05:00

I probably shouldn't post before I'm caffiene saturated, so I will just apologize for the typos that slip through. . .

I finally got paid yesterday for the Tinkerbell costume. . . dang. The past 2 weeks have been shot, financially.
I have been trying to keep up with the other ladies at my new job, and it was not working. It doesn't matter anyway, that's gone all sour.
I will probably quit there, and just sew things on my own, to sell. She wanted half, anyway, which is way too much.
I have to go work my first 9 hour Saturday; wish me luck.

Kisses.

Halloween!

2005-10-31T07:55:00.000-05:00

I finished the Tinker Bell costume I was making for someone else, but not in time to make my own costume. . . So I will be Ozzy Osbourne today, and I think I'll do a pretty good job of it. Puppy helped me a lot.
The party that we went to on Saturday night was fun, I just did black dress, spiderweb lace cape and black makeup. Puppy wore his normal clothes and everyone kept complimenting him on his Matrix costume. . .funny.

Now, I have to go straighten and blacken my hair. . . wish me luck.

Happy Halloween! Have fun and be safe!

Audioslave does it again.

2005-10-25T23:34:00.000-05:00

We were lucky enough to get tickets to the show tonight, and it was So Good! I had even more fun at this one because I didn't have a migraine.
I've almost finished the Tinker Bell costume, yay. It's very cute, and she's going to look great in it. And I will make a little money, which is always good.

It's almost Halloween!

Kisses

Nuclear Medecine

2005-10-14T07:59:00.000-05:00

Not really somewhere I want to visit for myself. . . I have to go have more tests on my gall-bladder/liver today. fun.

I'm going to put in my notice today. It's been something I've wanted to do for So long that I can't really believe it's real. But it's about to be. Wish me luck.

Have a great day, world.

Very Bad Kitty.

2005-09-29T20:34:00.000-05:00

Oops. I didn't realize that it has been so long since I've posted.
A lot has happened since then; I haven't had very much time to myself. Puppy also did something to the computer that made all the bookmarks disappear, so I haven't really thought about posting. . . bleah.

Puppy has a job; He works for an office supply company, in a warehouse. He seems to like it very much, as he has already impressed his managers. That means advancement as soon as it is possible, which means more money. . . yay, more money. He has to get up at 4:30, though, which means in bed at 9:30. . . that's been a little weird.
The bad thing is that he won't get paid again until next Thursday, and rent is due on Saturday. hmm. Now what? He thought he'd have enough to pay the lion's share, so I've paid a bill or two that could have waited, and stuff. . . oh, dear.
stress. I hate money.

We finally had to take Sam to the hospital, drag her, really. She was so bad off they put her in ICU for 2 days, and in a regular room for 2 more. Very stupid situation. I have also carted her to another hospital, in the hope that there would be discounted care, but it was too scary. A wasted day off. Then, my next day off we went back to the emergency room for a check up, and wasted another day off.
I was a very grumpy Kitty. Doing the right thing and being a good friend is not always fun. But she is better, taking medecine and finally being able to Eat and keep it down.

I got a job!! It's just part time so far, because it's brand new. My new boss is a customer; she bought a desk and chair and some other things from me. She seemed so cool that I went for it and asked her was she hiring for this new venture. It's going to be very cool. I'll still be selling furniture, but fun funky stuff. Vintage pieces, modern pieces, original art, beautiful glass pieces. . .
I am staying in my current position until I can figure out my insurance situation. So, 4 days at one place, 2 days at the other, with one off for myself. I have a couple of sewing and beading projects (for money!), so that is also good.

Halloween is coming!! I was going to be Stevie Nicks, but I got a haircut, too short, so now I don't know what to do. He screwed it up, too, and now I look like a bank teller. I told him Funky, I guess he doesn't know Funky from Frumpy. bleah. That's what I get for going to Great Clips.

Okay. So that's what's up. I go to my new job tomorrow, I have no idea what to wear. It's so different, because I don't open boxes all day or get dirty or pick up heavy things. . .Yay!!!
Now I just have to figure out how we're going to pay the rent on time.

Kisses.

A turn of events

2005-08-25T20:31:00.000-05:00

I hope that things are about to get better, anyway.
Puppy had a second interview today at a place that he wanted to work, where they are interested in paying well. . . please let it be real that they want to hire him!!!

Sam has been very very sick, and not taking care of herself, and we almost went over there today and forced her to go to the hospital. She has made an appointment for herself, though, and we are going to maintain watchfulness instead. I have had high bloodpressure for the past 2 days, and have felt terrible as a consequence. I am upset with her for falling this far into disrepair.

I went to visit my grandparents yesterday; drove an hour and 45 minutes up into the mountains. It was really great to spend time with them, and we went visiting with my relatives, which actually wasn't all bad.
I left with 2 bags of fabric, 3 jars of homemade jelly, 4 biscuits, a tub of white gravy, and a re-filled gas tank. I love my grandmother. I miss them so much. But I will see them again next week; the Power's Crossroads craft show is next weekend, and I'm going to help them with it. Maybe sell some things, too.

2 days ago, Puppy and I had really yummy sex; it was different, somehow. I think it's changing from the patch to the ring. Now I just have to figure out how to afford paying $45 every month for the damn thing. It's worth it, we just don't have any money. But I have had more energy since I took the patch off, there's no denying the difference. Yay!!

It's about bed time. Early work tomorrow. bleah.

Countdown to Rent

2005-08-16T08:24:00.000-05:00

Puppy still doesn't have a job. He's at an interview right now. It's not like he isn't looking. He had an interview yesterday, and has one tomorrow and the day after that. He looks really fucking good in a suit, too. But every day we get closer to Rent day, and if it's just going to be me paying it, There will only be about $50 for food for the rest of the month. I don't know if being supportive is good when we're going to starve to death. I don't know if I should ask him to take one of these jobs that's 'beneath' him so we can have food, or not.

I had an interview for a jewelry position on Friday; haven't heard from the man yet. It probably wasn't the best thing for me; the hours would have been limited, and the pay wasn't high enough, even with commission.

Meanwhile, life where I work now continues to amaze me with the amount of back-stabbing and nastiness these people can produce. Over the weekend, somebody that I work with stole the box-cutter off of my cart in the warehouse. We sell these knives, people. Get one off of the shelf. Petty, triflin' mother fuckers.

Then, yesterday, Jerry tried to get me to say that Derek had turned on the air-conditioner in the warehouse on Sunday without turning on the pump, thereby flooding the back of the warehouse. I just shook my head and said "Why would I even know who turned it on?" and so he gets all defensive and huffy and says "It's just a simple question, that's all it is", when it's not a simple question. Nothing Jerry does is simple, it's all some part of a scheme to get someone else in trouble, or in Derek's case, fired. I am So not helping that weasel, in anything, ever. I would really really love to see all of the evil people I work with purged, unceremoniously dumped out into the real world.

I am off for the next two days, and my plan is to Not think about them again, until I have to go back into the fray. I'm going to sew. What I'm going to make, I don't know. Maybe something I can sell so we can buy groceries. sigh.

sigh.

2005-08-06T19:37:00.000-05:00

It's been another long Saturday. I worked by myself today, and it was insanely busy. My minion is off at drill; today he had to go to the funerals for 2 of his army buddies that were killed in Iraq. . . The recent spate of deaths over there have made me very sad. They have very little to do with me directly, but I have a lot of sympathy for those involved.

Puppy is searching very diligently for a job; he got a new one, and quit it because it was no good. They wanted him to work in an unsafe manner, and to encourage the people under him to do the same. I applaud his ethics and worry about the next month's rent. I know that he will take a job soon. He is more worried about the situation than I am; I know that he won't be irresponsible.

I changed my birth control method from the patch to the ring; it was shocking how Big the damn thing was, but I have gotten used to it over the past week. I think that I feel more energetic than I did with the patch, but it may all be in my head.

I am off tomorrow, and hope to get some actual relaxation in; the past month I have spent every off day working on cleaning and organizing the apartment. I'm getting a little cranky, and need to lay off a little bit.

Money is tight, so I will very actively do Nothing all day. lovely.

Shoe Shopping!

2005-07-13T14:35:00.000-05:00

Yay.
I got to go shopping. I went a little overboard, which comes from being a Good Kitty for so damn long. . . I bought 2 pair; one pair of heeled loafers and some sandals with heavy straps. Both of them black, of course. And I was actually a Good Kitty, because there was a pair of Black Velvet Chinese Laundry shoes with sparklies, and I put them back, even though they were on the clearance rack!

I also made a foray into Ulta, for some much needed beauty supplies. I went a little nuts in there, too, because I had a 20% off entire purchase coupon. . . but it was all stuff I've been putting off buying, but that I needed. It's so hard to spend money when it comes so dearly!

I've been fighting a migraine since yesterday. I feel better, though, I hope it stays this way.

I almost got run off the road by a tow truck on the way to shopping; I think there should be an IQ test in the testing done by the DMV. The roads would clear up immediately.

I have to go through coupons and then head out to the grocery store; hopefully Puppy will feel up to going out for dinner tonight, but if he doesn't, I want to be prepared. We still haven't celebrated our one year of being together, and probably won't til the weekend.

Kisses.

Wierd

2005-07-07T11:19:00.000-05:00

My last post has gone off into the ether somewhere.
It wasn't really important or anything. But I've tried to publish it 3 times, and it doesn't appear.
Let's see if this works.
This is one of Puppy's favorite pictures of me.

Kisses!

rainy day off

2005-07-07T11:17:00.000-05:00

Spending time in our apartment makes me clastrophobic, only because I can't leave, and have no money for on-line shopping. sigh. woe is me. :-)

Actually, I've been getting Puppy's 1st Anniversary gift together. I'm doing a scrapbook of our first year together, so I've been hunting up movie and concert ticket stubs, photos, stuff like that. i can't find the first concert stub, Van Halen. We went to that one right before we moved in together, so there is No telling where it is. So I am leaving pages blank, for when I find more stuff to include. I hope he likes it.
Still job hunting, got a call this morning that I need to follow up on. I need to eat soemthing first, though.
I am appalled by what's happened in London this morning. People should be pre-wired to self destruct before they hurt someone else in cold blood.

4th of July

2005-07-04T17:04:00.000-05:00

I find it ironic that we celebrate our independence when so many of our freedoms are stripped away, slowly and under our noses.

That being said, we are going to Puppy's family's house for barbecue. We have spent a lovely day reading.
I have been reading the news, and am appalled by the release of that horrible Canadian Karla woman, who really should have been put to death, along with her husband. Add to the fire the guy who has most likely murdered that little boy in Idaho, and we'll have a lovely bonfire for the 4th. All 3 of them are a waste of skin and breath.

Robert Plant

2005-07-01T19:43:00.000-05:00

We won tickets to see Robert Plant (yay!) at Chastain (boo.) and the show was very good. It was very sad that the majority of the yahoos there couldn't shut the fuck up long enough to let the rest of us enjoy the show, but whatever. He rocks.

I haven't posted in over a month, not that anybody is paying any attention.
Nothing has really changed in my life. I'm still shopping for a job, and not having any luck, thus far.
Puppy found one, but he's not excited about it at all, so that makes me nervous.
We've been going through a rough patch, monetarily. It seems that every paycheck is taken up right away with nothing left over, and it gets harder and harder to just be grateful that we're making it. stress.
Other than that, we are doing well.
I finally went to a new doctor, and she and her nurse were great. Of course, we still can't figure out what's wrong with me, but I think she actually cares enough to try, so it's cool. It's getting worse, whatever it is, so I hope she figures it out quickly.
My grandparents suprised me today; they brought me some fresh squash from the garden. That was very, very cool.
Our first anniversary is coming up, the 10th of July. I hope we're not too broke to do something nice.
That's a quick summary of my very unexciting life.
Enjoy.

Vacation

2005-05-25T12:32:00.000-05:00

I started my vacation early, calling in sick this morning. It's my own fault, scheduling myself to work 9 days straight; I was exhausted. Add a migraine on top of that, and there was no damn way. They're better off without me, really.

I've been straightening the apartment, puttering around. Got the door open, to let in the spring air. I have a lot of things to accomplish in the next two days before we leave for Savannah, and doing this really wasn't on the list.
But a lot has happened since I posted last.
The car Puppy has been driving broke down, so that had to go in the shop, and is now back with his mom. His dad's car broke down right after that, so that was ironic; it was good that they had the mom's car.
Then, 2 days ago, the Millenium Falcon blew a tire on the way to get me from work; Puppy was stranded about a mile away from me on the side of 75. A co-worker dropped me off there so I could wait with Puppy for the tow truck. Northside Towing; reccommend them highly, they've always been very courteous and efficient. Anyway, that caused a lot of drama.
We were already on shaky ground from the business trip we went on to Jersey, but we've sorted it out as of last night, thank goodness. But we're back to one car, and it makes me a little nuts.
But, for the next week, we will relax, have some beach time, and I am going to try very hard to find a new job.

Wish me luck.

Tired

2005-05-11T21:59:00.000-05:00

Wow.
We were both off today, because Puppy's car is in the shop. . . we spent the day working on cards for Puppy's sisters. One for a birthday, and one get well, for the fractured rib. We had a short nap, followed by some yummy sex, and a shower together. Then we went to Longhorn and had dinner. We went shoe shopping, with no real luck except some new sneakers.
Then, we were on our way to check on Sam, and Puppy's mother called. She was on her way back from Augusta, checking on the sister with the cracked rib, and she had a flat tire, and the battery was dead.
So she was riding with a Truck driver, who fortunately was not a psychotic maniacal murderer or anything; but we got to the Waffle House where she said she'd be, but she wasn't there. . . turns out she hadn't gotten there yet, we thought she'd called us from the Waffle House. We were so worried and scared. They pulled up in this enormous 18 wheeler; good grief.
So, Puppy has gone to buy a battery and see about getting the car off the side of the road. He won't be home for 3 more hours or so, and it's very late and dark. I am going to worry until he is back safe in our bed. . . And he's having to do all of this in spite of the fact that his Useless father is at home, doing Nothing to help his wife deal with His car on the side of the road. He should have been with her checking on their daughter in the first damn place.
Meanwhile, Sam is getting worse, and won't call the fucking hospital to arrange the financial matters, and I just don't know what to do about it. She's in a lot of pain, and very weak, and could be fucking bleeding to death internally, and she won't fucking take care of it and be a god damn adult. I am so Frustrated.Argh!
I have to go to bed, so that I can get up in the morning to go to the job that I fucking Hate. And we didn't have time to go to the grocery store, so I Still have no coffee, and nothing to eat except scary leftovers.

I need a vacation from my life.

Stress

2005-05-10T22:03:00.000-05:00

Okay. So, we went to see Velvet Revolver on Friday night. It was not nearly as fabulous as I had hoped, although I looked great, and had fun dressing up. The opening act was Hoobastank, and they were funny, and entertaining. The main event was a little lack-luster, and they seemed to be suffering from some kind of internal tension. Either that or they're just doing a job, watching Weiland run around like a maniac like he's the only one on stage. Slash stood there like a remarkably talented coatrack, not speaking until they were leaving the stage. It was odd, after the amazing talent and energy of Audioslave.

My friend Sam has been a lot sicker than she has let on, and I am very worried about her. She needs to find some kind of insurance so she can go to the hospital, and seems to think that doing so is some kind of submission. stubborn. I took some things over for her last night to see if any of it would stay down; apparently boxed mashed potatoes and pedialyte pops are the only thing for now. Better than nothing. She looks like she's going to fall over, but keeps insisting that she'll be fine 'in a minute'. Fuck. It's hard to watch somebody be sick, and not be able to help.

Mother's day was supposed to be spent with a picnic and a trip to the Rennaisance Festival; we were involved in a wreck on the way there and spent the day in the emergency room. Puppy's sister has a cracked rib. We were rear-ended at a red light, smacked us into the car in front of us, and then hit Again from behind. . . fucking stupid people. I am still a little sore, and am very glad (selfish thought) that I was in the front seat - I could not do my job if I were injured, and have not got that many sick days.

On an up note; my grandparents seem to have adjusted to the fact that I'm in an interracial relationship. It's hard to believe, so I'm just going to wait and see how they act. I spoke to my grandmother today, and beyond telling me that I need to go to church (bleah), there was no mention of me being crazy for dating a black man. This is good. I can work with this.
Puppy's mother wants to have lunch with me tomorrow, but may be too busy with his sister; she says she wants to talk to me. He swears it's nothing bad, but it's still making my blood pressure higher than it should be. I really love his family. They have issues like everybody else, but they're great.
I'm really glad that they like me. I've never had a 'mother-in-law' before, and it's nice to have a mom to fuss over again, since mine has gone.
It's really time for bed; I've worked too damn hard today, and woke up tired, besides. I'm worried about too many people that I love.

Audioslave fucking Rocks.

2005-05-04T08:36:00.000-05:00

Puppy and I went to the show last night at the Tabernacle. The opening band sucked (no charisma, no passion, no sense of humor, all derivative), but Audioslave more than made up for the headache the first guys gave me.
Chris Cornell has my admiration; how does such a huge voice come out of such a normal, geeky guy? I mean geeky in a rock-god kind of way, of course. Anyway, the man can wail.
In case I don't post again before Friday; we're going to see Velvet Revolver, I hope it's as good.
I have a lot going on this week; have to finish Mother's day gifts and cards, have to finish tracking down my tax refund money, have to make Dr.'s appts, and working every day . . . damn it.

Kisses.

Chillin'

2005-04-25T20:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I went to work for a few hours, decided to leave at 2 and take a half a vacation day. Puppy and I went to the Inman Park Festival, and to find somewhere to eat. We planned to eat, then walk the festival, but it happened backwards. It was fun, walking hand-in-hand, dodging strollers and dogs. I got a pretty garnet bracelet, and a cool carved bone bead necklace.
We ate at a place called Pero's, on Northside Parkway. Not great. Okay, but not great. Good company, though. What a wonderful man I've got!
Today I worked too damn hard, but I have the next two days off. I Will finish my resume, and get it sent out to Somewhere.
I don't know how much longer I can force myself to go to work; I really really am not happy there.
At least I have vacation days to take, fun to plan. I think we will stay on the East coast of Florida, maybe St. Augustine. Take in some history, along with the beachiness. I can't fucking wait.
Kisses.

Still Celebrating.

2005-04-22T20:53:00.000-05:00

It's been a good month, so far.
Puppy took me to Eclipse di Luna tonight, as a suprise. It was extra nice because he doesn't really like tapas restaurants; but I think we had a good time. I enjoyed the food, the shrimp was great, and I ordered two of the cheese plates. Gluttony!
Wednesday night I met some friends at Ru San's Midtown - the sushi there is always great, and we had fun being loud and silly.
I've had a few days off to clean my sewing room and the rest of the house, which I had let go a Lot working on my birthday stuff. It's been nice to relax. Wed. before the dinner I made a shirt, very cute, although maybe too tight for work.
I've been working on my resume, like a good Kitty. j
Puppy bought some Smart Balls for me, though I have yet to put them in. . . they're very cute. It's exciting just to think about them.
We're trying to plan a vacation for the end of May; somewhere beachy. Maybe Amelia Island, or Pensacola. I don't need to go far, I just need some down time.
First comes Mother's Day, and though my mother is gone, Puppy's mother is great, and I think we're going to take her to the Rennaissance Festival,as she's never been.
Yay, fun.
It looks like we're getting another thunderstorm, I'd better post this before it's lost.
Kisses.
J

post birthday recovery

2005-04-10T20:56:00.000-05:00

whew.
I'm 30. And it doesn't seem to hurt.
The party was a success, as things go. The service at Einstein's was Not very good; it took an hour and a half before they got us seated and with drinks, and we had a reservation. bleah.
But, it was lovely, all things considered. If I could figure out how to post pictures, I'd show you my outfit; I did a pretty good job, I think.
My grandparents showed up, as did my father and brother. It was good.

I've spent today trying to kill a migraine; tomorrow I have to go back to work. Wednesday is my next off day, and I will start looking for a new job. This birthday is going to be the beginning of me seriously taking more control over my life.

kisses.

A Week of 29.

2005-03-29T08:00:00.001-05:00

I have about a week until I'm 30.
I have about 3 days of off time to work on the costumes for my party.
I don't know which one scares me more.

I have been, and will be, sewing furiously every waking moment that isn't dedicated to work, eating, or sex. And I may have to scrap some of the more ornate stuff. sigh.

Anyway. I have to go to work today, and I don't want to (suprise). I will find a new job. Or get back in school. Because otherwise I may kill someone, and i really don't want to finish my education in prison.

Kisses.

A Week of 29.

2005-03-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

Invitations

2005-03-19T20:38:00.000-05:00

I'm addressing envelopes for my party invitations; fun! I can't wait for the actual event, but every time I think about how much sewing I have to do by the actual date, I get queasy.
Speaking of queasy, I had my CT scan; horrible experience. The barium sulfate you have to drink tastes like lemon flavored Hell; why can't it be vanilla flavored or something? bleah. Every swallow was a struggle. Then, when we got there, she let me know that I'd have to have an IV of More noxious stuff. I hate having holes poked into me (where they're not supposed to be, obviously). I hate hospitals anyway, having watched my mother slowly give in to cancer in one. My uncle actually died in the particular hospital I had the scan in; not pleasant to think about when you're strapped to a machine and helpless.
They say that the results show that there's nothing wrong with me, so I'm left to ask, "Then why does it hurt?" I think it's from hating my job.
On a high note, Puppy and I had sex for the first time in a while on Sunday. . . I think that our discussions are helping. When he is more forceful, I am definitely more interested. The Ortho Evra patch has created a strange bubble of apathy for me; I theoretically want sex, but if it doesn't happen I'm not upset. Very different from the Jami of a year ago. And I even know that I'm happier when I get off; I just can't seem to find my libido. I feel badly for Puppy. I try to think sexy thoughts.
Half of the time I end up thinking about my costume, and the logistics of putting it together.
I'm going back to my envelopes. Sam and I are going to try to print out the actual invitations tomorrow.
Kisses.

Stormy Weather

2005-03-13T23:13:00.000-05:00

It's raining outside; the dramatic ending to an otherwise lovely day. Puppy and I had the day off together, so we spent a good deal of it in bed. The other part we spent on the patio of a great Mexican restaurant with an unlikely name, FROGS Cantina.
My friends were supposed to come over and discuss costuming for my birthday party, but one of them flaked out, one of them had a family emergency, and so we cancelled. bummer.
I'm freaking out a little bit; I still don't know where to have the party. I am still considering The Abbey (too expensive), Imperial Fez (not really the cuisine I want), Cafe Intermezzo (maybe okay.), and the Rennaissance Festival. Wish me luck.
On Wednesday I have to go have a CT Scan; not looking forward to drinking that Barium stuff. Hopefully they won't find anything major wrong with my insides, and I can continue living my life with no surgical interruptions. bleah.
It's bed time. The thunder and lightening make being inside all the more cozy.

Sweet Dreams.

I have a cold.

2005-03-05T21:26:00.000-05:00

I made it through the flu-go-round at work, and now I'm getting a bloody cold.
I got my first 'comment', and that makes me happy. I think I am going to dress as Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing; I can't really think of anybody better, barring Queen Elizabeth, but I don't have time to sew on all those pearls.

I'm going to drink my tea and try to get better.

Friday Morning

2005-03-04T08:03:00.000-05:00

I'm not really awake, yet, but decided to post. I've decided on the theme for my 30th birthday party: Shakespeare! It's optional, of course, but anyone can dress up, be someone from any play, or the time period in general. I haven't found a place, yet, but am narrowing it down.

I have about a month to go, and need costume ideas for myself, and Puppy. He hates to dress up, so I know this is just to make me happy. I want to help him find a character that he'll enjoy.
I have to go get ready for work.

Kisses.

Another Rainy Day Off

2005-02-28T19:02:00.000-05:00

I didn't remember that I had today off until I looked at the schedule at work yesterday, right before leaving; imagine my suprise! I got some things done today, too. Went to Sharpsburg to get some things from my grandparent's house. I still need to unload the car. Damn, I forgot about that, and now it's getting dark.
Hmm. I'll be back.

Sunny Day

2005-02-22T21:15:00.000-05:00

I got out of work early today, at 3. I came home and read on the patio, waiting for Puppy to come home. We went to a restaurant called F.R.O.G.S., and it was very good, unexpectedly so. We took a walk in the part, watching all of the dogs, and their owners. One woman was trying to walk a cat on a leash. . . Puppy found that very funny. The cat seemed embarrassed and annoyed. Dingbat woman.
I have to go to the doctor tomorrow, to see if I'm having gallstones, or what. fun. bleah.
It's my day off, and I'd hoped to lounge around a make jewelry, but I suppose not.
I will have to ask the doctor what I can do for my reduced sex drive; the patch is great for convenience, but like most birth control, it's killing my libido and making me fat. fun. I can have sex all I want, but I don't really want.
I finished "Drums of Autumn", again. Now I have to order the 5th book, can't remember what it's called.
We're invited to a fairy princess birthday party on Saturday, for the 3 year old daughter of a friend of mine. I am going to try to make her a sparkly crown tomorrow, as a present. The only complication is that the Boy will be in town over the weekend, and I would like to see him, even if it's only to give him our parent's presents. From X-mas, you know. My father stopped making noises about coming up here, now there's not even the pretense. bugger.
I have to go, Puppy is already in bed, and I promised him some lovin'. Wish I was really horny. Apathy sucks. I don't even feel creative.
Kisses.

Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T21:39:00.000-05:00

This year has been a good one for me; it's our first together, and we did a pretty good job of it.
I started giving gifts on Friday, little things, and spread it out over the weekend; We went to dinner last night. It was a little disappointing, Morton's was not all I expected it to be, but the food and the company were good even if the service and atmosphere left something to be desired.
I love Puppy. He is very, very good to me, and I am lucky to have him. Of course, he feels the same way about me, so we are doubly blessed.

Yay, sappy mushy stuff.

I heard from my step-brother ex-boyfriend yesterday, he'll be coming up for a visit soon, that's cool. Now if I could just get my dad to call me back.
Ah, but that is too much to expect, and I should know it by now. Why dwell on shit that makes me unhappy? Nope, I'll think about the flowers I got today, instead. Beautiful roses in pinks, yellowsl, peaches and white. Lovely man.

Kisses.

rant

2005-02-07T21:55:00.000-05:00

Pet Peeve: Grocery Store baggers who suck. Please, somebody tell me why the fuck it is so hard for these mouth-breathers to put more than 2 like items in one bag? Puppy and I just got back from Kroger, and this cow used 23 plastic bags for our order, at least twice what was actually needed. sigh. I know I'm being incredibly anal about this. But it infuriates me that almost every time I go to the store and let them bag my groceries, I have to re-do it so that everything doesn't end up rolling around in the trunk of the car, never mind that the cold things are not together, and she put the chips in with a bottle of juice.. .

fucking A, it's not that hard to do it right the first time!!!

OK. I have to go calm down now.

Yay!

2005-02-06T20:26:00.000-05:00

I have a car to drive again!
It's not mine, it's Puppy's old car, but it feels very, very good to know that I can take myself to work in the morning!
I am a very lucky kitty.
Of course, driving for the first time in months and months on I-20, with all of the maniacs, wasn't exactly relaxing. I am about to have a nice cup of Tazo Calm, and de-stress after a day at work.
Yay!

Yeah, I suck.

2005-02-05T19:59:00.000-05:00

But there really hasn't been anything worth writing about. I don't really want my blog to be the same "I hate my job" thing every day. I haven't felt particularly creative, lately, either. My ambition is to write stories every now and then; all I seem to want to do lately is read to escape the tension and stress of my workplace.
Not that life isn't good.
I love Puppy very much, sometimes it suprises me how much. I guess how fantastic he is kind of sneaks up on me in the day to day bullshit we both slog through.
I have good friends, we connect as often as we can do. I am very lucky to have found so many people who value me for who I really am.
yep. life is good.
I promise to be better about posting; if I don't do it at least every other day, I will ask for a spanking as 'punishment'. mmm.

Love.

Tired Kitty

2005-01-31T21:12:00.000-05:00

I sold about $9,000 worth of Stuff today, and I am tired. Puppy is tired, too, he had work and then class today, so neither one of us is talking much, just winding down so we can go snuggle in the warm bed.
More later.

Stir-Crazy

2005-01-30T01:48:00.000-05:00

We've been cooped up here in the apartment all day, mostly a good thing, since we so rarely get a day off Together. . . we read, of course; he's reading a Koontz novel, and I'm going through a great Italian cookbook I got a Borders. I cooked some yummy tortellini for tomorrow's lunch, just in case I get to go to work.
I spent a lot of time 'shopping' online; can't decide what to get Puppy for V-day. It's our first together, so I want it to be special. I surfed all of my favorite blogs. I need to expand my horizons, nobody posts often enough!!
Puppy's already in bed, boredom, or the urge to hibernate, maybe. I'm keyed up from the need to prowl. I think I'll have a glass of wine and make myself retire.
The freak from upstairs is making his usual annoying clomping noises. . . earlier it sounded like he was sawing through wood. . . we don't really Want to know what he's doing up there in the Den of Iniquity, we just wish he'd be quieter about it. Damn it.

Sweet Dreams.

Iced In

2005-01-29T16:11:00.000-05:00

The store is closed today! Yes, I know, it's like Maybe 1/2 inch of ice and sleet on the ground, but this is Atlanta, people. We can't deal with it.
Puppy and I are warmly snugged up in our apartment. I'm wearing footie pajamas with my hair in pigtails for effect. Every time I walk by, he pauses his video game to grab my ass. It's been a great day, so far.
The stupid holiday party is cancelled, too. No free dinner tonight, due to inclement weather. blah.

Stay warm!

End of another workday

2005-01-28T20:24:00.000-05:00

And I am tired, as usual. 10 hours of weasels and morons will do that to you, no matter how much you like what you do.
Puppy and I stopped by the grocery store on the way home, because it really may ice over tonight, and that's what you Do in Atlanta when it may snow. . . you go to the grocery store with every damn body else.
Now we have a lovely frozen pizza in the oven (I told you I'm tired), and we are doing our individual 'wind-down' activities. After a little happy-to-see-you groping session. yum.
I am washing the footie-pajamas he got for me, at jumpinjammers.com, so that I can wear them tomorrow night. They are fuzzy blue with rubber duckies on them. . . Yay! I wish they were clean so I could wear them right now. Too cute.

Nothing really interesting to say, I just wanted to get into the habit of posting something, so I can get used to sharing my thoughts.
This is fun.
Tomorrow night is the company holiday party. Yes, at the End of January. Because everything we do is somehow a little 'off'. I don't really want to go, but like many of my co-workers, I am going to get the free meal, and that is it. Several of us are meeting afterwards with Sam, so we can have some actual fun.
Goodnight Kisses.

Day Off

2005-01-27T15:31:00.000-05:00

So, I should be working on my resume, so that I can get a job that I don't hate. But the resume software came with a Book of instructions. And the sun is shining. (procrastination. . .)

I think I'm going to lunch with my friend Sam; she and I have a craving for lobster bisque. mmmm. We will probably concentrate more on finding Her a job, since she was fired last week by her weasel boss. Unfortunately, he is also My weasel boss, hence the job search. I Hate going to work there, knowing the level of evil that has permeated the building.

I want to sell jewelry, or cars, or something that will make me lots of money for what I sell, instead of making Them lots of money while I get occasional pats on the head.

So, I should work on my resume. But, first, Lunch! Steamhouse Lounge, here we come.

How cool is this?!

2005-01-26T21:16:00.000-05:00

Now I have no idea what to say.

Since this is the first post, and I have no idea where I'm going with this, I think no matter what I write I'll look back on it later and think, "How stupid." I don't know if my voice will be solitary, or if there will be anyone listening. I hope that this will become more of a dialogue than a soliloquy. I hope I have something interesting and amusing to say, once I get over this stage-fright.

I sound really pompous, probably because all of this white space is really intimidating.

I'm going to go make a profile.
Here's to jumping in feet first!