Bad Kitty/Good Kitty

Tuesday

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posted by Bad Kitty @ 8:15 AM 0 comments

Ah, insomnia

I really should be sleeping. I don't even have anything interesting to say. There isn't anything new to read. I am starting to get hungry, which means that it will be even more difficult to go to sleep the longer I stay awake. . .

posted by Bad Kitty @ 11:16 PM 0 comments

cold.

Somebody gave me a cold. Damn it. It's my day off, and I feel awful. And it's raining. bleah.
I was hoping I would feel creative today, so I can get some sewing done. I definitely won't be going to the gym.
I have to get busy on the bachelorette's outfit; her party will be here before I know it, and I also have to make my costume for her reception at the end of October. I have to go buy some netting for her pink veil, which means a trip to the fabric store. I also have to get her shower gift, because that is this weekend. ack.
Can I just have some Dayquil, first?

posted by Bad Kitty @ 8:16 AM 0 comments

hmm.

We got a sofa. And Sam has moved off into the wilds of N. Georgia. I don't know if she is crawling off to die there, or if I will see her again.

I've been invited to my first bachelorette party; it's next month and I get to make the tiara and t-shirt for the bride-to-be. Fun. Pink sparkly Everything!

We started at the gym. I went 2 days ago; I'll go back this weekend, when the soreness eases a little bit. I've decided when I lose 15 lbs, I'm going to go have my nose pierced, because I've wanted to do it for so long.

I have to get ready for work.

posted by Bad Kitty @ 7:13 AM 0 comments

I can't get no Satisfaction.

And it sucks.
I have started to daydream about cock. I dream at night about sex. This does not happen when I am getting some. When I am getting fucked on a deliciously regular basis, I only revisit fond memories, I am not forced to make up whole scenarios in my head as I go about my day. It's distracting me from my work. I am decidedly less pleasant to be around, on edge as I am.
I think of old lovers . . . until I remember how truly lonely I was. The sex was great, but there was no 'relationship'. Now, I have a fantastic, functional relationship, and no sex. Sure there are things we need to work on, but they're acknowledged, and will be dealt with.
I have stopped with any wedding planning. If he keeps making excuses and bringing up little objections, he must not be ready. Which means I am not ready either, by default.
Which means one of us has to figure out exactly What is 'wrong' enough with us that we thought we could be together for the rest of our lives, but we can't take that step.
My biggest current problem is the lack of sex. I am filled with self-loathing for my own physical form, and a decided lack of interest in his. We both need to lose weight. When we got together, we were both composed of a lot more muscle than fat.
He has no hedonistic qualities, no animal nature, not over-powering desires. I cannot tempt him into fucking me, apparently. He makes negative comments about other bloggers with sexual kinks that are similar to mine, to the point of making me silent about my own desires.
I don't think he knows how to be sexy. I don't think he understands how to move, how to talk, what to do.
When we watch movies with sex scenes, he is incredulous and disbelieving. He cannot fathom that people would be so impatient for sex with each other that they would end up on a stairwell, or against a wall. So I don't say anything, because how to explain something that comes so naturally to most people??
I know he visits porn sites; we share a computer, after all. So he must masturbate. But not for me. Not with me, or around me.
The vague flickers of interest come at inopportune times; when I am getting ready for work, or am honestly ready for sleep. They are fleeting, and indirect. He does not attempt to arouse, even. Just a tentative probe, and then a retreat.
There is no romance. I am starting to feel like his room mate. I am happy to be his best friend. I am very glad that we can live together in harmony, support each other, make each other laugh. Perhaps we are too polite to each other. Maybe I need to have a true southern hissy fit. I try to be more dignified than that, but maybe that is what is killing our relationship; good manners. All I really want is to get fucked.

posted by Bad Kitty @ 9:45 AM 0 comments

Congratulations, Violet!

I just wanted to say that Violet Blue rocks, and I hope that she prospers mightily.

posted by Bad Kitty @ 9:41 AM 0 comments

back from Amelia

I went down for 3 days and it was sooo nice! I didn't get to park my ass on the beach, but I got a lot done, and had fun with my dad and his wife.
Greyhound isn't as bad as I thought it would be.

I am still working on winning the lottery so I can afford my wedding.

posted by Bad Kitty @ 8:55 PM 0 comments